Tuesday, April 5, 2011

GOTTA GO

I recently went out west on a visit to Los Angeles. I played a handful of shows and caught up with some old friends. I really enjoyed myself, although I can recall one particularly uncomfortable moment.

I spent a few nights in Valencia, just north of the city. A friend who had been attending college took a semester off and was staying with his parents to save some money. When they found out I was coming thru town they INSISTED I stay in their guest bedroom. Of course I was thrilled to have such a comfortable place to sleep for a few nights instead of my usual couch surfing. They even picked me up from the airport. We had a lovely first evening together. I made lasagna and we all sat and ate out on the patio together and had a bottle of wine they had been saving from their trip to greece last year. We were having such a nice time, we didn't realize it was 1 am and way past their bedtime.

"Goodnite sweetie. Just holler if you need anything. We are RIGHT HERE"
my friends mother said as she pointed firmly to her bedroom door next to mine.

"Thank you. I'm sure I have everything I need."
i said as i gave her a peck on the cheek good night

I shut the door to my room and realized there was a big white cage at the foot of my bed. There was a bird inside. I was so tired and slightly buzzed from the wine, I didn't mind. I eventually dozed off. I awoke in the middle of the night because I had to pee. I lifted the covers off and walked over to the door. I twisted the knob, but it wouldn't turn. I messed with the lock, but still no luck.
I started to feel a little antsy, but i still kept my cool. I tried again and again, still wouldn't budge. I started knocking on my door in hopes that my friend accross the hall would hear me and come let me out. When that didn't work I tried calling his cell phone. After a few calls with no answer and a good 15 minutes of trouble shooting with the door, I started looking around the room, I knew I couldn't hold it much longer. I spotted a plastic bag with birdseed in it. I took the bird seed out and peed in the plastic bag. I tied it up very carefully inside another couple of plastic bags and went back to sleep.
I woke up earlier than usual the next morning due to my jet lag. The door just opened right up now that the sun was shining. I hopped in the shower, when I came out my friend was at the bottom of the stairs and his mother was at the top holding what SHE THOUGHT was bird seed.

"I AM GONNA GO FEED THE BIRD IN THE GARAGE"
she said holding the bag at her side.

I frantically ran over to my friend and discreetly spoke in his ear once I realized what she was holding.
"OM. YOU HAVE TO TAKE THAT BAG AWAY FROM YOUR MOM SOMEHOW. IT'S A LONG STORY, BUT THERE IS PEE IN THAT BAG. I GOT LOCKED INSIDE THE GUEST ROOM LAST NIGHT. I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO."

He was really cool about it.
"MOM. I'LL DO IT. GIVE ME THE BAG."
he said calmly

As soon as he got the bag in his hand we both started cracking up. I ran up to the guest room and he told his mother what happened.

"I FEEL SOOO BAD ANNI. YOU ARE SO SWEET. I HOPE YOU DON'T FEEL EMBARRASSED. WE HAVE BEEN MEANING TO GET THAT DARN DOOR FIXED FOR AGES"
she said soothingly after I came back downstairs.

I say:
"IT'S OK. I JUST HOPE YOU DON'T THINK I AM REALLY WEIRD"

1 comment:

andy said...

...and eight months later, a pee story.

Hooray!